The Overnight Socialite

Author: Bridie Clark

Age: Adult (Although...spoiler alert...nothing dirty happens. At all.)

This is pretty unexceptional chick lit. I suppose most chick lit is pretty unexceptional. But this one has really good reviews on the back! Ok, I guess people aren't going to put the bad reviews on the back of their book. But I'm sitting here looking at the back of the book right now, and these are seriously out-and-out lies. One reviewer says the book made her "LAUGH OUT LOUD" (emphasis added). I doubt that very much. Also, the characters are supposedly "endearing." Again, no.

It's sort of a modern re-telling of Pygmalion/My Fair Lady. Actually, I don't know why I just said "sort of." Most of the scenes are pretty directly lifted from My Fair Lady, but in a random fashion, so that if you haven't already seen My Fair Lady you might not understand what's going on. That's what's strangest about it, I think. The "main" characters only show up when it's time to drop in a scene from My Fair Lady. The rest of the book focuses on a bunch of other characters who really ought to be much more minor players. Like, you're reading along, and you want to know what happens next, and then all of a sudden you're dropped into a huge long scene about someone you can't even remember who was apparently introduced in the beginning of the book and is now, 150+ pages in, someone you're supposed to care deeply about. It's strange.

Supposedly, this is the story of Lucy Jo Ellis and Wyatt Hayes IV. Lucy Jo is a simple Midwestern girl with a big heart and big dreams. She wants to make it as a fashion designer in the Big Apple, but so far she's had no luck, probably because she's fat. OHMIGOSH is she fat. Of course, as soon as she starts being pygmalioned, she drops a bunch of weight and turns out to be totally hot. Because that's exactly what women need to read about. A woman who is unlovable when she's carrying a few extra pounds, and magically becomes absolutely perfect in every single way as soon as she's skinny. (a) That's just wrong, and (b) Why does it even have to be an issue? Why could the story not just be about a girl who's a little naive, a little clueless in the big city and could use some cash and a good elocution coach? Why is her weight even at all relevant? And bear in mind that this book was written by a woman (a Harvard-educated woman, at that). Ladies, why do we do this to ourselves???

Wyatt Hayes IV is a bored anthropologist with nothing to do because he's already fabulously wealthy. But he does kind of, maybe, when he thinks about it, want to be taken seriously as a scholar, so he decides to publish a book on the social experiment he's performing with Lucy--namely, taking a nobody and, in three months, turning her into Manhattan's most sought-after socialite. Of course, he doesn't tell Lucy that's his motive, so you know that's going to cause some major awkwardness when they start to fall for each other. That's not a spoiler. Unless you've never read one of these books/seen one of these movies before in your life, and if that's the case, please don't start with this one.

That sounds fun enough, doesn't it. Except that, as I mentioned before, neither of these characters gets enough page time to be really developed. A book that was just about Lucy and Wyatt and what they go through and how they become attracted to each other, that could be a cute, fun read. But this book isn't really about them at all. It's about Cornelia Rockman, Wyatt's vicious ex-girlfriend, and how she tries to sabotage Lucy and win Wyatt back, and it's about Wyatt's best friend Trip and his girlfriend Eloise and how Trip is a commitment-phobe, and it's about other various friends of these people and their own problems. And okay, maybe these would be interesting stories if these people had their own book (although I very much doubt it) but this book ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT THEM! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT LUCY AND WYATT! I mean, when you're watching My Fair Lady, you don't suddenly want to cut from Ascot to half an hour about the third extra from the left's life, do you?

Let's take them one at a time. First, Cornelia. Okay, it is kind of fun to have someone making life more difficult for Lucy, but you can have a villainess without making the book primarily about her. Or, alternatively, you can make the entire book about her, but if you're going to do that, I'm pretty sure you ought to make her a slightly more sympathetic character. (Although I didn't go to Harvard like Bridie Clark so I dunno.) Next, Trip and Eloise. All I'm going to say about them is, ladies, if you've been dating the same man for eight years and he's never once mentioned marriage, don't just sit at home and cry about it. It's okay to bring it up yourself. If you can't even talk to someone about it, you shouldn't be considering marrying them at all! How is this not just common sense?!? Third, there's Cornelia's best friend, who's supposed to marry for money but might actually be falling in love. Okay, this would be a cute story if (a) this book was actually about her, and (b) she was actually a decent person who deserved love. Instead, she switches back and forth between snooty socialite and down-to-earth sweetheart so fast it will give you whiplash. It's hard to know which is the real girl, which makes it hard to believe she'll ever really be happy. And finally, we have Rita, Lucy's mother. There's supposed to be some sort of heart-rending subplot in which Lucy hurts her mother by being embarrassed of her humble beginnings. Or so we're told. In actuality, Rita is an opportunistic witch who wants to use her own daughter to get ahead. Apparently Clark can't see that, which is strange because she wrote the character.

All this ignoring of Lucy and Wyatt means that their story really doesn't get developed at all. Note to Clark: A character isn't charming just because you say she is. A man isn't in love just because you say he is. I think there's an entire song about this very problem in our beloved musical. Did I finish the book? Yes, although I'm beginning to think that's not such a good acid test, because I'm forcing myself to finish anything these days so I can write about it. Did I smile to myself when everyone got what they deserved in the end? Yes. On the whole, I was mildly entertained. But I wouldn't pay money for it.

Other books you might like:

For adults, about NYC society: The Nanny Diaries; Meg Cabot - The Boy Next Door, Boy Meets Girl, Every Boy's Got One; The First Wives Club; Lauren Weisberger - The Devil Wears Prada, Everyone Worth Knowing (I didn't love these last two; you'd think they'd be fun cheery chick lit but they're really about unhappy people with unhappy lives, and they're just depressing. But they are about NYC society!)

For adults, about LA society: Clare Naylor and Mimi Hare - The Second Assistant, The First Assistant (The Second Assistant comes first...if that's confusing just remember that first assistant is a promotion!); The Starter Wife (the miniseries with Debra Messing...haven't read the book); Celebutantes by Amanda Goldberg and Ruthanna Kalighi Hopper (not my favorite story but it is written by actual Hollywood insiders so it is, I assume, pretty true to life)

For teens, about NYC society: The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot; Gossip Girl (the TV show; I've never actually read the books...oh dear, now I'm forced to wonder which is worse, admitting to reading the books or watching the show?); Confessions of a Teen Nanny by Victoria Ashton

Honey, Baby, Sweetheart

 Author: Deb Caletti

Age: YA

At school, Ruby McQueen is The Quiet Girl. (I've been The Quiet Girl before, too--often I guess I still am--so I know how much it sucks.) But in the summer after her junior year of high school, she gets a chance to be someone different. Travis Becker is not only gorgeous, he's also rich, which means he goes to private school and has never met Ruby before. He's also a bad boy. Ruby doesn't belong with a bad boy, but Travis doesn't know that. Travis thinks Ruby is daring and fearless and beautiful. Obviously, Ruby falls head over heels. Unfortunately, Travis' idea of "exciting" is more like Ruby's idea of "terrifying," and Ruby starts to think that maybe being someone else isn't so great.

When it comes to love and bad boys, Ruby's mom, Ann, is a seriously bad example. She's a librarian who's still in love with Ruby's dad, Chip, a musician who deserted the family years ago to follow his dreams. Now he plays guitar in an amusement park saloon, and comes back into their lives for a few days at a time--just long enough to wreak havoc and leave Ann devastated yet again.

Ruby sees through Chip, and Ann sees through Travis, but that doesn't really help anyone. Then Ann starts bringing Ruby to the book club she runs for senior citizens. They're reading a book by the famous author Charles Whitney. Charles--and the old ladies in the book club--have some things to teach Ann and Ruby about love. That's why Ann gets the brilliant idea to reunite Charles Whitney with the woman he loved and lost in 1940s New York City. Ann, Ruby, and the book club set off on a road trip of self-discovery and healing.

When I read the summary of this book on amazon, it only talked about the gorgeous bad boy part, and I'll confess that's what interested me. Then when I got the book out of the library, and the jacket went on and on about the senior citizen road trip, I thought it sounded pretty lame. But it's not--it's so good. The old people are full of wisdom. Any girl who's ever felt like she needed a boy to complete her should read this book. As Miz June says, "Love can come when you're already who you are, when you are filled with you. Not when you look to someone else to fill the empty space."

I've read a lot of the wild-child-cautionary-tale genre of teen fiction, and this book is so much better than the usual that it's almost unfair to group it with them. Maybe I prefer this book because it's so much more relatable. I was always a good girl. No one I knew--or at least no one I knew closely--ever got raped or committed arson or shot anyone. But every girl I've ever known, including me, has at some point had a bad relationship or a bad breakup or worried too much about boys. And it's the right sort of feminism (at least my idea of what feminism should be). It's not "Down with love!" It's "Up with you! And then love!" And there is some lovely romance--even if the teenagers aren't ready for soulmates, the 80-year-olds know exactly what they want.

I also really like the narrator. Her voice reminds me a bit of Barbara Robinson's narrators--she has the same sort of openness and humor and wisdom. She even has an adorable and astute kid brother. And she's good at description--from scenery to emotions--which many writers are not.

Even if you're no longer a teenager, you probably still need to learn what this book has to teach. In fact, you may actually be more ready to hear it now.

Recommended for readers who like: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants; Barbara Robinson; The Notebook; I Capture the Castle; Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld; How I Changed My Life by Todd Strasser; Princess Ashley by Richard Peck